Why Minimum Wage Is Kinda Cute

You just gotta work your work uniform.

So I honestly should have called in sick to work today. Y' know, because bae never texted me back and I probably gained four pounds in the last two days. Like the amazing hero that I am, however, I decided to go in anyway and pay it forward by taking orders and acting like I really care how much these old people like the frozen food at the chain restaurant I work at. I was a bit late, though, because of course I had to take a couple selfies in the parking lot (the lighting was too good to ignore). As usual, it was a boring shift and I did a lot of stupid things like smiling and answering phones with an overly peppy voice. Then someone brought up the time that I cried at work, and how I'm always somehow dropping things. That made me sad for like a minute and then I realized that us minimum wage workers are kinda cute, and here's why.



1) We Always Apologize.




Well, I mean, most of us do. Some of us are sociopaths that don't mind getting fired, and some of us make no mistakes, but for the rest of us mere mortals -- we apologize incessantly. I think this makes us pretty darn adorable. We are always so accountable and loving. Oh, you didn't like that steak? I'm soooooo sorry. Oh, I forgot your ketchup, I'm sooooo sorry.

The rest of the world is cruel, cold and sullen. There are countless of people shoving their way onto subways and pushing grandmas over when there's a sale during Christmas that don't even bother to utter a word of regret.

We're basically cherubs at this point.

2) We are really good at smiling.

 

I mean really good. These pearly whites are always flashing to the extent of needing Novocain after working an excessively long shift. I've smiled all the way through a smelly old man leaning into my personal space bubble and asking me about my heritage. I've smiled while tears welled in my eyes as a customer berated me in front of my boss. I've smiled when someone spilled something on me.

We're just all too friendly. I don't know how we don't all get Mr. and Ms. America awards just for looking so likable and happy all the time. If that doesn't spell cute, I don't know what does. 

3) We make the impossible, possible. 

 

Oh, you want no lobster in your lobster roll? Sure, I'll be happy to give you a hot dog bun full of mayo! We basically do anything to please even the dumbest requests. You retail workers out there should slide in my DM's and tell me the dumbest things people have asked you. Even when requests make no actual sense, sometimes we minimum wage workers will attempt to rearrange the laws of physics that govern the universe to make our customers happy. Even when they leave us basically nothing as a tip. 


We're so solicitous. Seriously guys, how else can you get your uncooked steak from raw to well-done in a matter of four minutes? Sometimes, we just defy the laws of nature. We're that freaking adorable.








So, at the end of your shift today as you go home and look into the mirror and imagine quitting and joining some kind of brothel, always remember: you're probably still broke, but you're pretty darn cute!