Looking Put Together When You're Really Trash

When all else fails, add ears.

 
I'm not afraid to say this at all: I'm an absolute mess.


 

I can't find my car keys, my homework, or my phone half the time. The other half of the time I'm stuttering awkward phrases to my crush as he looks like a poor, helpless animal trying to avoid my lame predator-like attempts at flirting. 

But there is one redeemable quality about me: people always say I look put together and dare I say it, kinda good.

I sort of have a secret on how to not look like trash when you're actually very lazy and can't get around to even shaving your legs.


 Okay, I promise it really isn't that hard once you get in the hang of it and the necessary equipment.





Good Dresses & Tights

 


There are cat tights, slutty tights, bright tights, animal print tights. Tights are like leggings, but somehow classier  and even sexier. They're really comfortable if you can at least keep your legs from growing a mane in the winter. The thing about tights is that you automatically go from looking like you could be working out, maybe, or just woke up from a nap, to looking like a business bitch.

With tights you basically seem like you're going to tell off the writer of vogue while drinking a slim martini while making out with a male model.

...Well not quite, but they're still pretty cute and easy to pair with any outfit.  






Dresses are equally as important. Dresses are genius, honestly. YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR PANTS! Like, ever. If you get a dress in a comfortable fabric, you're basically just wearing a long shirt and letting the breeze do as it pleases. In the summer, it's even easier, all you have to do is slip something on and you automatically look like you've actually done something with your day.

A-line dresses in cotton are totally recommended. As are sundresses, and basically anything you can dress up or down. 



HATS!!!
 

I cannot stress how imperative it is to understand what a blessing hats are. If you're in high school and can't wear hats, well HAHAHAHA too bad for you :(  -- but the rest of us are living our bad hair days relatively well by wearing beanies or caps.

The thing is a beanie always looks tough and cute, with even the messiest hair sticking out underneath. You automatically look like you didn't try, but somehow are this sloppy angel that is so fucking sexy even an ugly hat can't hide it. 

You can even get ones with ears or rims for a different flair.

They are everything.  

If you can't get a hat and your hair is lifeless and hideous, always opt for the ever popular GIGANTIC bun. It's high fashion.


Eyeliner/Mascara

 

If you cannot even draw a straight line on a piece of paper to save your life, I'd skip this, and go for a coat of mascara but for the rest of you, this can really help. I mean, who doesn't want to look like Cleopatra ruling a fucking empire and being a sexy goddess? Yeah, no one. That's right.

I think, when done right, eyeliner adds a bold look to your outfit. Even if you look like a complete mess in a stained shirt, you still look like "yeah I meant this look, this is my aesthetic" or something along those lines.


White Tees

 

Nuff said. White tees are sexy. They are so casual that they skip looking sloppy and somehow slide right back into the chic category. If you wear it with jeans somehow you look so mundane that it's effortless and sexy. Try it sometime. 

If you learn absolutely nothing from this, here are my BIGGEST tips.

1.  You have to wear something you're comfortable in.



2. You can wear anything hideous under a cute enough cardigan




3. You're probably cute enough to pull last week's outfit off every other week



Love,